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Thursday, January 26, 2006

F U 


All y'all can shove it.

"I am troubled by Judge Alito's apparent views on matters such as executive power, his past opposition to the principle of one person, one vote, and his narrow interpretation of certain civil rights laws," Johnson said. "Even so, I cannot accept an argument that his views are so radical that the Senate is justified in denying his confirmation."

Yes, this is the kind of retard talk we've come to expect from thin-willed, yella-bellied dem-o-craps. Thanks, guys! You'll be dead before all those unborn babies that will be born into crack houses and brick homes alike who will have to live with the legacy of this court!


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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Nice Guy Eddie 


Chris Penn, who I'll always think of in a wrinkled jogging suit and a dirty, dirty mouth, was found dead yesterday.

Police found the 43-year-old actor's body in bed about 4pm on Tuesday after being called to the four-storey beachside apartment complex by a housekeeper.

There were no obvious signs of foul play, according to police. Autopsy results were pending.

Hours after the body was found, fellow actor Martin Sheen left the building from a rear exit with two older women, but did not comment.

He was definitely a relic from my own pop cultural development and it's sad to see him go.

"First things fucking last."


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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Talent? 


My friend Jason is all fancy. But is he talented? You decide.

Nearing high school graduation, Roeder turned to lyrics in order to expand his artistic palette. It was during this period that he completed his only original song, "Three-Legged Lover." Best known for its provocative chorus -- "She's got three legs and three very high heels/ something like a tricycle, except not with wheels/ She's got two to run and two to jump/ she puts the third aside for her dog to hump" -- the song somehow never climbed past No. 52 even on Roeder's imaginary charts. In this track, Roeder mumbles a cappella while waiting for his mother to pick him up from his after-school job at the movie theater.

Yeah. He is.


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Hurricane 


Who's got time to remember the outrage we all felt several months ago when all those black people drowned in that stupid hurricane thing?
[Officials received] an e-mail sent to the White House Situation Room hours before Katrina hit, warning that the storm's surge could breach levees and leave New Orleans flooded for weeks or months.

The e-mail included an Aug. 28 report by the Homeland Security Department's National Infrastructure Simulation and Analysis Center, which concluded that a Category 4 or 5 hurricane would cause severe damage in the city, including power outages and a direct economic hit of up to $10 billion for the first week.

The top Democrat on the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee also accused the White House of trying to block or delay the panel's inquiry into the government's sluggish response to Katrina.

Hellooo? There's a reason they ignored this then and it's the same reason we're ignoring it now: it's BORING with a capital B. Come on, what are we supposed to do, get all upset about it? We get it, you're too poor to get out of the city and you're too poor to have a nice house on a hill. Why don't you try living the American dream and being white for a change?


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Between 


I actually did have a dream last night that the Democrats filibustered -- successfully -- Alito's nomination to the Supreme Court. It was a weird kind of creepy-hazy dream, almost like a nightmare (?) in which it was clear that something that wasn't supposed to happen was happening. Anyway, this was just a dream. They'll never fucking do that. They're going to hold off until Bush nominates Jerry Falwell's baby-eating doppleganger. And, it's like, did you need to nominate the baby-eater? Human Falwell is bad enought.

The Judiciary Committee favorably recommended Samuel Alito's Supreme Court nomination to the full Senate on a party-line vote Tuesday, ensuring prospects the conservative jurist will join the high court bench.

All 10 Republicans voted for Alito, while all eight Democrats voted against him. The partisan vote was almost preordained, with 15 of the 18 senators announcing their votes even before the committee's session began.

That's a bowl full of terrific. Really. He's going to be a really, really great guy, a guy who thinks the President is a king and that the king's job is to protect unborn babies from the coat hanger of Amorality. It's just too bad that he won't sit in the Supreme Court for the rest of his life with no way anyone can ever remove him. Damn it.


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Monday, January 23, 2006

The Futre of the Past Tomorrow Today 


They're trapping atoms now so we can download porn faster.

"With quantum mechanics, an object can be in two places at the same time, as long as you don't look at it," he said. The quantum computer architecture can store quantum bits (qubits) of information, where each qubit can hold the numbers one or zero, or even both digits simultaneously.

When a qubit is added to a quantum system, the computing power doubles. Thus, the quantum machine can crunch numbers at a rate that is exponentially faster than conventional processors, said Monroe.

Electrically charged atoms (ions) for such quantum computers are stored in traps in order to isolate the qubits, a process that is essential for the system to work.

Sorry I made another joke about Internet porn.


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