Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Young. Talented. Handsome. 

Friends: Please check out my friend Blake's new web site. He happens to be a young filmmaker and he happens to be funny and cute and awesome, too. He happens to live in Los Angeles and he happens to be the mastermind behind the snap bracelet craze of the early 1990s. What a decade.


Tuesday, March 22, 2005


Rejoice, liberals all, at the death of the culture of life! A judge today ruled that the right's favorite vegetable, Terry Schiavo, may not be fed against her husband's wishes. Of course, her mother and father are rather upset by this, but they probably shop at Wal-Mart and they probably voted for George Bush, and, as we all know, a main tenet of the Leftist Philosophy is the Death of the Innocents, so, being Godless, we're only able to find fulfilment in murder and the destruction of Christian values.

Now, it seems, a major tenet of the Rightist Philosophy is Federal Control of Everything Personal, Including the Life of the Innocents. They want to control whether or not you're born, what you can ingest, and when you may die. They want, as does that Hip and Holy God, to control everything you do. Gone are the days of state's rights and individual liberties. So important is this culture of life that a weary-eyed George W. Bush cut his vacation short (!) to intervene in this human tragedy, just begging to be federally legislated, in the state under his brother's gubernatorial stewardship. When unsure, our President said, one should err on the side of life.

(Insert obvious counterpoints regarding the Iraq War, Texas's crowded death row, the abandonment of the needy, and all that unnecessary eating of babies.)

This makes me want to vomit. To vomit. I've read some Nat Hentoff pieces on Schiavo's husband that certainly cast him in a less than savory light; still, the clawing, slimy opportunism on the part of righteous lunatics on Capitol Hill surely undermines the original and personal hardship of this case. Like Elian Gonzales, Ms. Schiavo has been thoroughly disgraced, flattened to two dimensions and used and abused and utterly marketed for the gain of these arrogant snakes. I am sure that some honestly believe in this esoteric and hypocritical Culture of Life, but I have a hard time identifying them in a crowd. When and where does this Culture begin and end? Why is Schiavo so much more important than the millions of other persistent vegetables languishing under fluorescent light?

Leave them alone: the Shapiros, the Schiavos, the hospital staff. Leave all of us alone. We don't want your culture of life. It is empty, it is rank and it is frightening.

You can't even die, it seems, without the television's ok.


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