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Friday, January 28, 2005

Questions 


The overhead lightbulb in my room went out. I haven't replaced it. Why?
I'm growing a beard for this play I am in. The beard comes in red. Why?
It seems likely that there are aliens somewhere in the vastness of space, yet we've never had any real proof they exist. Why?
Robert Shaw and Sterling Hayden are dead. Why?
I went all in on Aces over sixes the other night and lost to three threes. Why?
Some people are really good at math. I am not. Why?
Haste makes waste, yet he who hesitates is lost. Why?
Still, in 2005, no one has invented and marketed a safe, reliable hover craft. Why?
Jude Law was in six films in 2004. Why?
Ths inside of my cheek feels like pizza without the cheese. Why?
Sometimes lying in bed, I think for a moment that I am fifty feet off the ground. Why?
I once heard that all crab Rangoons are made at the same factory in China. If this is true, why?
They haven't yet made a totally awesome movie just about Jedis, kicking ass and solving crimes across the galaxy, with intrigue and action and awesome special effects. Why?
Before a thunderstorm, you can kind of feel it and there's an odd high sound in the air. Why?
Robert DeNiro really hasn't done anything worthwhile in about ten years. Why?
Dick Vitale says they should change the jump-ball rule so that the defending team gets possession. They haven't changed it yet. Why?
Though I always enjoy it, I almost never eat soup. Why?
That Pepsi song "Ba Ba BAH BAH Ba..." is very similar to that McDonald's song "Ba Da Ba Ba BAH". Why?
I've never seen a ghost. Why?
Still, In 2005, no one has invented and marketed anything even close to a seven-course meal in a pill. Why?
Printer cartridges cost, like, forty dollars. Why?
Some deodorants irritate my skin, others don't. Why?
Men don't wear hats anymore like they used to in the olden days. Why?


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I Found This 


Somewhere.
You ask me
What I am and what I have did.
And I ask
What is the Moon to you?
And you say
Nothing.
And I say
I am as the Moon to you.
And I think it says it all.

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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Origami 


Heigh-ho, here's another chance for the Democrats to fold.
The Bush administration is seeking about $80 billion in new funding for military operations this year in Iraq and Afghanistan, pushing the total for both conflicts to almost $300 billion so far. Administration and congressional officials said the new request, expected to be announced on Tuesday, would come on top of the $25 billion in emergency spending already approved for this fiscal year.

That means funding for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan will total nearly $105 billion in fiscal 2005 alone -- a record that shatters initial estimates of the cost.

John Pike, a defense analyst with GlobalSecurity.org, said the Pentagon might need even more money this year "because we just don't know the rate at which the insurgency will grow or subside, and we don't know the rate at which the Iraqi security forces can be stood up."

My, oh my. They might need even more money because they don't know how bad it's going to get. That's damn convenient, isn't it? See, it's agreed by half of America that this Administration is terrible. But some of those think of them as the gang that couldn't shoot straight. Some have been saying all along, however, that they may be evil and amoral, but they don't miscalculate. This is a highly calculated Administration, and they must have seen (at least among some) that there would be a mess in Iraq.

Now, true believers like Bush and Wolfowitz may actually have believed that America would come down like some lily white angel, but I think the pragmatists there knew it could not be so easy. What would they have to lose, anyway? They knew they'd get a second term by hook or by crook, and in the interim they get to spend more and more, have an excuse to develop more outrageous weapons, give terrorists a reason to attack us, piss of Iran, get the Middle East into an uproar, and basically destabilize the world so that their own brand of Chaos-Order might reign. And, if things haven't improved by 2008, they might as well stick some well-intended, sunny-speaking Democrat with this awful mess. Then what? They get the office back in 2012. At worst. I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but I must reiterate that their's is a plan for Total World Domination. And it's only just begun.

(Now how in the hell did I get there from the humble beginnings of this post?!)

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Monday, January 24, 2005

If Condoleezza "Sez" It, I "Believe" It! 


The New York Daily News is the most gut-wrenching, childish rag of propaganda now available in New York. But, like Wal Mart and the Bush Administration, it's cheap and easy, so everyone buys it. Somewhere following a four-page spread on the deaths of three firemen and another gaddam story on Trump and his new bride, there's a smug little article in which the new presumed Secretary of State wishes Iraqis in Iraq and the media over here would stop being such Debbie Downers.
Secretary of State nominee Condoleezza Rice said yesterday that Iraqis will be "just fine" when they cast ballots next Sunday, despite a new threat of a "fierce war" on democracy by the country's most feared terrorist.

"The Iraqis will be just fine," Rice cheerily told reporters. "They're starting a process and this is an important step, afirst step for them in this democratic process."

But in a new 48-minute audiotape posted on the Internet, Jordanian terror kingpin Abu Musab al-Zarqawi pledged to fight American-style democracy and derided "infidels" who vote for "demi-idols" running for office.

Well, clearly Condoleezza knows better than anyone who is actually in Iraq. There is such arrogance to everything the Administration does, and it's arrogance filled with unadulterated, unabashed lies. We are just supposed to believe it. All of it. It will be interesting to see how things actually turn out over there, with their cute little process.

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