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Friday, November 05, 2004

Me Likey Funny 


You people should get to know the good folks at Photobucket. It's amazing. I wonder when they'll start charging for their services.



Amen.

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It's Funny (And Sad) 'Cause It's True 


Good old Dad. (I first typed Dada, and I guess that's good and old, too. Christ, it's sort of a dadaist presidency, isn't it? Surreal and nihilistic. Though not as whimsical.) He found this concession speech which, mostly, says it all. This is, I think, the most relevant part, but it's worth reading in its entirety.
As the night progressed, people began to talk half-seriously about secession, a red state / blue state split.

The reasoning was this:

We in blue states produce the vast majority of the wealth in this country and pay the most taxes, and you in the red states receive the majority of the money from those taxes while complaining about 'em.

We in the blue states are the only ones who've been attacked by foreign terrorists, yet you in the red states are gung ho to fight a war in our name.

We in the blue states produce the entertainment that you consume so greedily each day, while you in the red states show open disdain for us and our values. Blue state civilians are the actual victims and targets of the war on terror, while red state civilians are the ones standing behind us and yelling "Oh, yeah!? Bring it on!"

More than 40% of you Bush voters still believe that Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11. I'm impressed by that, truly I am. Your sons and daughters who might die in this war know it's not true, the people in the urban centers where al Qaeda wants to attack know it's not true, but those of you who are at practically no risk believe this easy lie because you can.

As part of my concession speech, let me say that I really envy that luxury. I concede that.

Healing? We, the people at risk from terrorists, the people who subsidize you, the people who speak in glowing and respectful terms about the heartland of America while that heartland insults and excoriates us... we wanted some healing.

We spoke loud and clear. And you refused to give it to us, largely because of your high moral values. You knew better: America doesn't need its allies, doesn't need to share the burden, doesn't need to unite the world, doesn't need to provide for its future. Hell no.

Not when it's got a human shield of pointy-headed, atheistic, unconfrontational breadwinners who are willing to pay the bills and play nice in the vain hope of winning a vote that we can never have.

Because we're "morally inferior," I suppose, we are supposed to respect your values while you insult ours. And the big joke here is that for 20 years, we've done just that. It's not a "ha-ha" funny joke, I realize, but it's a joke all the same...

[Tumultuous cheers, applause, and foot-stomping. PULL BACK to reveal the rest of the stage, the row of cameras, hundreds of unoccupied chairs, and the empty field beyond.
This is one of the things that really gets to we who live in liberal cess pools -- you know, the places where terroristm is most likely and where all the smart, creative people are? That people of a certain, um, aggressive mind set, who get whipped into a frenzy at the thought of evil doers visiting destruction on our pristine hill city, don't fucking live anywhere near the danger and that they, apparently, get to decide everything that happens ion our country. They put their Never Forget bumper stickers right next to their USMC decals and they rant and rave about terrorist ragheads, but they live in a house that has wheels on it, and they are in no danger. Not only that, go on their message boards and see how they speak of the people in NYC and LA. They don't like us very much. Not very much at all. But they sure did take our tragedy and turn it into their righteous, almost sexual, rage.

Nick and I were talking about the election, and how it seemed to be a referendum on intellectualism -- but it's not even that esteemed; it's not even intellectualism that was rejected: it was sense, rationale, reason, logic, thought. If the results are accurate -- which they are likely not: how did Bush get 8 million more votes than in 2000? -- then it bodes very poorly for the future of our country, which seems to be saying, "Leave the thinking to someone else, I got a flag to wave." We move toward fascism: one party rule; corporate rule; militantism; and liquidation of the thinking class -- nay, liquidation of thinking in general.

All right, all right, this is too long. Let's sip some coffee, lean back, take stock---

--- And another thing...!


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I Wish the British Were Coming 


Any guess where The Mirror stands on Bush's reselection?


Come on you crusty old Redcoats, give us another good invasion. Really.

Seriously.

Please...?


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Thursday, November 04, 2004

Lest We Forget 


No big whoop here, folks, and I must say, much pessimism has faded after another night's sleep. An old teacher of mine who's become a friend (and who drifts toward my reasoned paranoia more and more each time we meet) just wrote me. Only half his students made it to 8 AM class Wednesday, and of those, half were crying. He cancelled class and sat them down to talk. He's really buying land in Canada. He's asking me for advice. Me! So this is the state of things: Upside down. All around. Twisted in the wind. Yikers! But also the most exciting time in American history. At any rate, he attached in his email this little reminder, which is so elegant and so powerful, and which I've read many times before, but which remains worth rereading.
Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship...

Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.

Hermann Goering, at the Nuremburg Trials

What will Karl Rove say to the wigged men in robes when his time comes?


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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

What To Expect 


Man. This is tougher than I thought. I know things even out in the end, but damn. I am pretty depressed and a little bit worried. John Kerry sat down pretty darn quick, seems to me, though I don't know how much he would have gained by protracting the count. I've heard counts of as many as 6 million outstanding ballots. But who knows. Who knows?

But I've been trying to come up with a list of what to expect out of BushCo in the next -- God help me -- four years. I'd also like to hear what you think:

Reengagement In the "Palestinian Question" - This will not amount to much more than bluster and bullshit, but Bush will certainly talk about a Palestinian state more and more. In reality, however, he will continue to support Israeli aggression, and perhaps even support them in coming down harder on militantism. At the same time BushCo will give Israel proxy to

Bomb Iran's Nuclear Power Plants - This will be one of the scariest moves in modern history, but I believe it is all but a forgone conclusion. This is a terrific way for the US to unsettle things in this troublesome state, and a great way for Ariel Sharon and the hawks in the Holy Land to masturbate. I have no idea what the consequence of this will be, but I don't think it will be very healthy.

New Conservative Supreme Court Justices - He may have three appointments this term. Rehnquist, Day-O'Connor and possibly Stevens -- if that old bird ever dies. Scalia will be made Chief Justice in this case and, essentially, we can kiss our civil rights goodbye.

Gay Marriage Amendment - Given the overwhelming support for "traditional marriage" last night, I think they must consider it high time the Constitution gets a little tweaking. I do not think this will be able to pass, but it's certainly a good tool for driving a wedge further into our cultural schism.

A Draft - This remains wildly unpopular, and I wasn't sure they were really considering this till I heard Bush promise not to. He went so far as to say, "If you don't want a draft, vote for me!" and his minions began circulating rumors that the Democrats had some secret plan to reinstitute the draft. Furthermore, I see no way for them to maintain this program of global dominance without doing this. It's a war, as you know, that may last our lifetimes. And lastly, I'll have to get in line since they're planning to extend the age limit to 32. See you in Tehran!

Bigger, Badder, Bolder - They'll need some more terror and fear here at home in order to push through their crazier ideas. I don't care to speculate on what this may be, but I think the odds of something even more wicked this way coming got a lot better last night. Bush will walk around with a cucumber in his pants and a knife in his pocket, King Daddy of the whole wide world. Watch for even more brash and brazen behavior. While those who jerk off to pictures of W will love this, others may begin to see him for who he is. The chances he'll make a huge mistake are even better now, which is what it's going to take because none of the multitude of scandals ever stick EVER.

Other than that, things should be pretty awesome till 2008. What do you think BushCo will try to shove down our throats?


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America Is Over 


There is only the idea now. There is nothing real anymore in the way this country works. The idea is the thing. The idea and the idol, and the reality, the real reality, goes on across the oceans and in the quiet, tight corners of the country. There is nothing left of substance. A plurality of Americans can vote for a vacant husk, a cardboard cutout, a puppet putting a face on an evil plan. We can vote all this into power on illusion. Ilusion and dangerous faith. The image. The idea. Not the real thing.

America is over. How does it get back from this? There has always been deception and mythology, but nothing like this. We reelected war criminals, gave them a mandate to reek havoc on the globe. How do you make people see reality, when they already cling so desperately to their own illusory one?

But reality remains. It's underneath and overhead. Reality will pay America another visit soon, for good or bad. But America, that great shining thing, that's over.


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W TF 


When I looked in the mirror this morning, my face was drawn and tired. I showered and lathered up for a nice shave, thinking, at least this will give me a fresh start on the day if nothing else. And as I dragged the blade across that bump in my neck, I considered, just for a moment, well....

But all is not lost. I walked into work and heard that Kerry had conceded. Under a lot of pressure from the White House they said. Well that is great. That is really just terrific.

Perhaps now the country will see what a dangerous, hateful and murderous lot we have in Washington. I didn't think things could get any worse, but the very well may. They very well may. And things usually have to get worse before they get better.

At least we got a new senator in Colorado. And that Obama fellow is a rising star. New Hampshire dumped their rich, dumbass governor for another rich guy with a D next to his name. But other than that, well, I'm in a kind of stupor. I really thought Kerry would win the popular vote by 3 or 4 points. I don't understand what happened, especially in Florida and Ohio -- although, these two most important states happen to have the president's brother as its chief executive, and the founder of a sketchy electronic voting company respectively. What else.

I did spend a lovely evening with some friends, though the mirth waned as the night grew. And I got to meet Damfa, a damn fine fellow.

We'll talk again soon. Things seem so quiet and calm right now. I'll go relax in that for a bit.


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Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Stupid LIberal Media!!! 


Another shameless example of the left-bending sycophant media and their socialistic whore editors.




What will they run tomorrow when Bush loses? A shot of Kerry taking a dump in an outhouse?

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Wang Chung Tonight 


The good doctor at Princeton, Sam Wang, is predicting a Kerry blowout in the Electoral College. This guy has mad math skills, and even uses a bias analysis in his calculus. Awesome!
Monday, November 1, 2004 at 11:00PM EST - FINAL FOR 2004

Median outcome, decided voters: Kerry 252 EV, Bush 286 EV (±39 EV MoE) (probability map)

Popular Meta-Margin among decided voters (explanation): Bush leads Kerry by 0.8%

Predicted median with undecideds: Kerry 283 EV, Bush 255 EV (probability map)

FINAL electoral prediction with turnout: Kerry 311 EV, Bush 227 EV (probability map)

FINAL popular vote prediction with turnout: Kerry 50%, Bush 48%, Nader/other 2%
It'll take a victory at least that large to keep the next presidency out of the courts for months, I dare say. And to spread more good cheer, so far today I haven't been killed by a single terrorist!


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Good Signs 


When it comes to something as important as this election, one turns not outward, to physical clues and evidence, but rather inward, to the winding halls of superstition and overblown personal relevence. Like stepping over cracks in the sidewalk, or saying to yourself, "If the next car I see is red, then I'll get the job I just interviewed for," controlling the uncontrollable can be achieved through such magic. There is a sense of personal stake in feeling that a random confluence of events or thoughts, played against one's own inner-world--outer-world construction, can have influence on that which you cannot truly control; at the same point, one releases himself from responsibility by merely setting the rules (ie if the Red Sox win then A will happen, if not, something else will) but still having no say in the actual outcome. In that vein, there have been some good signs lately that Kerry will win today.

For one, the Redskins lost, and as we all know, they are the single most important factor in determining which party will take the White House every four years. Also, all four Florida college football teams lost on the same day for the first time ever to my knowledge. Finally, I beat out a fat full house last night with four natural aces, an unthinkable hand. Granted, it was only Nick that I beat, and he's certainly on the same page with me politically; rather it the slick power of four aces, the victory of the underdog, which raises my spirits. That darned Nick simply owns me head to head, so to win in such glorious style was an omen of good. Even Nick saw something special therein.

Now I cross my fingers and make wishes at 11:11. Let's do this thing, bitches!


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For England, Harry, and St. George... (and America) 


Rising Hegemon doctored up the St. Crispin's Day speech from Henry V to stiffen the sinews and conjure up the blood for we few, we proud, we patriots on this Day of Days!
St. Crispin's Day Election Day
This day is called 2004 Election Day
They that go to vote this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And be roused at the name of Kerry/Edwards.
They that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will on the eve thereof feast with his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is when we threw Bush out:'
Then will they open their wallet and show their cards.
And say 'This I used to vote upon Election day.'
Old folks forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But they'll remember with advantages
What feats they did that day: then shall their names.
Familiar in their mouths as household words
Kerry the king, Edwards and Howard Dean,
Clark, Graham and Gephardt, Sharpton, Mosely-Braun,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good person teach a child;
And Election Day shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We many, we very very many, we band of voters;
For they today that cast their vote with me
Shall be a voter; be they ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle their condition:
And mouthbreathing freepers now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they did not win,
And hold their citizenship cheap whiles any speaks
That vote with us upon this election day.

So get behind that curtain, wield your pencil like a sabre and put down that inky blotch to sends that evil George and evil Dick back to their fiery womb. O! Heavens and gods, do forge us a hot new republic, a clear sky, and a green, breezy meadow for the horses of freedom to tear across; a vast horizon for a new dawn.

So friggin' vote already.

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Monday, November 01, 2004

What's In A Dad? 


It's All Saints Day, you crazy kooks, so you know what that means... Pop's birthday. Happy birthday, old man -- even though you are the first each year to point out that you actually turned 54 yesterday, and that today is merely the first day of your 55th year on this planet. Nonetheless, said planet is better with you on it.

My Dad is a man of great intellect and wit. A passionate couch activist who wilts at injustice right there with the best of them. I've watched in my dad over the last four years grow a fire unlike that I've seen in many other people. From one who's first thought, like many of us on 9-11, was to load the canons and make fodder of these fundamentalists once and for all, I now look proudly at a bleeding, gushing heart lefty better read and better thought than anyone save Noam and Gore. (If you think I'm extreme, please have a conversation with his man about Abe Lincoln.)

I wish from time to time, that through some extraordinary turn of events my pops would wind up in the White House. I don't know that he'd have the temperment to meet endlessly with plastic-faced leaders, but the barbecue at 1600 Pennsylvania would have them lined up for miles. And Yasir Arafat and Ariel Sharon would settle their disputes in a friendly game of Dr. Mario. Press conferences would be a blast and he would play Stevie Ray Vaughn songs at state dinners. Maybe even declare an SRV Day -- I wouldn't celebrate, but it would probably help tighten up the NASCAR Dad vote.

A Dad is the best man you know; the smartest man alive; and the funniest sonofabitch out there. Even if he could use a little exercise, I hope he realizes how much he means to us.

Happy Birthday and well wishes for many more, my rebel pa.

Love,

J.

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Sunday, October 31, 2004

What the Loonies Want 


Here's an excerpt from a post on anncoulter.org's message board. What Bush must do if reelected.
1. Obviously Continue to kick ass in the war on terror.
2. Flood the lower courts with young judges for four more years.
3. Appoint 2-3 Supreme Court justices.
4. Make Scalia the Chief Justice.
5. Demonize Hillary.
6. Groom Bush's successor.
7. Decrease size of government please.

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8. Increase the breadth of conservative news media
9. Pass legislation to TIGHTEN our election process and ensure less fraud.
10. Totally revamp the Tax Code.
11. Undo all the idiocy that is the legacy of FDR and LBJ.

Reply Re: What must be done if Bush wins.
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Gun down mexicans crossing the border illegally.



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12. Fund "no child left behind"\improve our education system\promote school vouchers if nescessary to improve all children's knowledge.

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Put the Kabash on spending and slash and burn unnecessary dumbass programs. Dept of education, Commerce etc. Let the libs complain and demogogue, they will do that irrespective of what we do.

National ID cards, yeah I said it.....I want National ID cards and punish employers who hire illegals

Move forward w/ his social security plan and vouchers and quit paying lip service.

Move forward w/ flat tax. (It will never happen)

Name Ann Coulter Transportation Secretary (If it is going to exist) I would LOVE to see the libs react to that one

Quit trying to "govern from the center" libs will NEVER meet you half way so why bother?

Take away tax exempt status of Unions and NAACP

This is just off the top of my head but the President will likely not have all three branches again for a long time so make the best of it.

So. Yeah. Should be pretty interesting. Jesus, I hope Bush doesn't abandon his centrist leadership! My God, what would we have then?


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