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Saturday, June 05, 2004

Reagan Update 


He's dead. Now we'll get to watch newsmen talk, with feigned reverence, about the Man Who Won the Cold War. And believed in aliens.

But I'm sure we will not allow this (or the aliens) to distract us from our duty in fighting terrorism.

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A Place for Bill 


Some friends and I were discussing things the other night. You know, things: whether you'd stand a better chance fighting off a mountain lion or a shark (in their respective natural environments); just what 'making out" means; how Dick Vitale has so much time for lunch with young basketball players; if Kerry would appoint Clinton to a cabinet post...

Screeeech!

Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it be tremendous to have Secretary of State William Jefferson Clinton? The man has done it all, and it's clear that he'd love to get back in the game, especially with his old arch nemeses the Republicans running things. The world was certainly running at a calmer pace when Bubba was the face of America; even if terrorism lurked in the margins, at least we knew our allies had our backs. Where else could Clinton go? The only post big enough to contain his coolness is Mayor of New York, but I think he'd take Secretary of State over that. Think of the relief nations the world over would feel at hearing his charming drawl at state dinners. He could make Israel/Palestine his pet project, and, since this conflict is the most important one in the world, he could actually do some good. For once, sound policy would be served by one man's enormous ego.

It's all about symbolism. Appointing Clinton would send a message that we're getting back to the way things should be. And who better than the host of the party to get things swinging again. And if Kerry could work it out, Clinton would definitely provide a sense of security for many of voters who are not exactly anxious to have Bubba back in the White House, but do look back on those halcyon 90s with nostalgia, and are a bit wary of, say World War III. To me it's a perfect fit.

But would Clinton accept such a role? It's probably the only office in government that is almost more prestigious than the Presidency. And since diplomacy has taken such a deadly blow the last few years, Clinton could wind up being more of a savior than any Democrat who replaces Bush. It could be a great project, and a wonderful way to refurbish (or repolish) his image. While BushCo loyalists would scream and howl, they wouldn't have much of a choice, would they? And the rest of the world would certainly appreciate it.

When my friend first proposed this idea, my immediate reaction was that Kerry would not want to be outshined, that there would be no room to share the spotlight with such a star. But Kerry can use all the help he can get, and it should be clear that this is not a time for individuals. Team D must come together and get it done. I have more than one issue with Clinton (more like two dozen) but in this instance it's about winning, and I think he could do more in this post than he ever could as President.

Somebody get this guy's email. We're calling him up!

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Just In Time for the Elections 


The fifth stone head on Mt. Rushmore, Saint Ronald the Reagan, is in declining health, says a source. Just in time for the big elections.
"I was told it could be soon -- it could be weeks, it could be months," the U.S. source said. Reagan, now 93, has long suffered from the brain-wasting Alzheimer's disease.

The source said Reagan's condition had worsened in the past week. "The time is getting close," he said, but added: "It is not like it is going to be tomorrow."

The source had not spoken to Reagan's family, who have kept him out of sight of all but his closest relatives and helpers, but obtained the information elsewhere.

The White House has been told about Reagan's deteriorating condition, but officials have declined to comment.

Joanne Drake, Reagan's chief of staff in Los Angeles, said in a statement: "He is 93 years old. He has had Alzheimer's disease for 10 years. There are plenty of rumors. When there is something significant to report, I will do so."

I know. It's tasteless to speculate on Reagan's death, though it's okay and perfectly American to haze a few wily Iraqi prisoners.

I honestly don't wish Alzheimer's on anyone, although death itself is fair game, since it's the one thing we all have in common. I just would like to direct the reader's attention to a prediction I made a few months ago, about what sort of knavery would take place before November to sway the hearts and minds of tender voters. One of said items includes the death of the Great Communicator.

Now, would I dare suggest that the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy somehow has the power to control when the former president will die, and would use that for political gain? Yes.

Would you rule it out?

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Thursday, June 03, 2004

Well, Well, Well 


I just saw All the President's Men for the first time. It's a great movie. And the weird thing is, the stuff Nixon did does not even compare to the crap these guys have been pulling. And now it looks like the finery is unraveling a bit.
CIA director George Tenet, who has been under attack over the intelligence used to justify the Iraq invasion and warnings before the September 11 attacks, resigned Thursday, the US administration announced.

President George W. Bush told a hastily convened news conference just before he left for a major trip to Europe that Tenet was leaving for "personal reasons".

Deputy Central Intelligence Agency director John McLaughlin will take over in charge of the world's most powerful spy network in mid-July, when Tenet's resignation becomes effective.

No permanent replacement is expected to be announced until after the November 2 presidential election, analysts said.

Any new nomination before the election would require Congress confirmation hearings that could reopen controversies over Iraq and the 2001 attacks on New York and Washington.
Personal reasons. I guess he personally didn't feel like having his ass put on spit and turned slowly over a high heat.

Tenet has been under miild attack for the intelligence failures both pre-911 and pre-Iraq invasion. But there's another interesting tid bit, care of my father, which may soon come to broader light.
Witnesses told a federal grand jury President George W. Bush knew about, and took no action to stop, the release of a covert CIA operative's name to a journalist in an attempt to discredit her husband, a critic of administration policy in Iraq.

Their damning testimony has prompted Bush to contact an outside lawyer for legal advice because evidence increasingly points to his involvement in the leak of covert CIA operative Valerie Plame's name to syndicated columnist Robert Novak.

"The president has made it very clear he wants everyone to cooperate fully with the investigation and that would include himself," White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Wednesday night.

He confirmed that Bush had contacted Washington attorney Jim Sharp. "In the event the president needs his advice, I expect he probably would retain him," McClellan said. There is no indication Bush has been questioned yet.

See now, that is Impeachment-type stuff thar, m'friends. Turning over highly classified information like that. It's the sort of thing cowards do, you see. Treasonous acts by people who hate freedom. And why is Bobby Novak getting off scott-free? At what point does the press's freedom interfere with national security? Isn't what he did despicable and dangerous?

You know, I've taken about a week off. It was a decent week. Part of the problem with being a blow-hard is that you have to find stuff to say every day. And since it's all nonsense (just say the word "kitchen" about 500 hundred times to yourself and you'll see what I mean) I figured a week to recharge would be nice.

But now people are resigning!

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